New Years Resolutions
It is now the middle of January and how many of your resolutions have you given up on? Or maybe you didn't make any because you don't want to be disappointed? You don't see results or you just can't seem to get started. You have a picture of your ideal self, but as time goes by it is harder and harder to get motivated to change.
There is one BIG, HUGE problem with making New Year's resolutions, the resolution may be perfect for you. But, you are only focusing on the outcome. How to get to the goal is critical for success and resolutions only focus on the outcome. How many goals, resolutions, commitments to exercise, eat right, quit drinking, stop shopping, whatever, do you make only to see your commitment fade away with the harsh light of day? If you're like me (and like a lot of people I know) willpower is not your problem. Willpower is not even the issue. Sure having a flat stomach is potentially motivating, but more than another piece of cake or glass of wine? No, it is not your willpower. It is the way you and me set ourselves up to fail.
We think it is all or nothing, but it is not. It is a process, baby steps. Have you ever watched a child learn to walk? When they first try to move they hold on to stuff, couches, pant legs, dogs, whatever is close. And they fall down, a lot of falling down. What do parents do when they watch this process? They cheer! YAY - you took a step and you fell down, good for you, try it again. That is the process of learning a new skill. Not unlike learning to eat better, drink less, exercise more. YAY - you did it, you made it through one meal, one day, one hour at the gym - good for you.
That is not what we say to ourselves when we are trying to change a habit. We say stuff like; "I failed, I am always going to be fat, I don't have what it takes". There is a lot of negative feedback. And even more disheartening is we start believing all that self - talk. Want to stop the cycle once and for all?
For the next 21 days focus on one action that you can do to get you to your most important goal. Maybe you want to be healthier, have more energy and lose a few pounds? Your action step could be to eat a healthy breakfast everyday. Or to drink at least 6 glasses of water a day. Or plan your meals in advance. It could be to walk at least part of the way to work, or to walk at lunchtime.
The action step is up to you. Pick one that you want to do. One that is a small stepping stone on your way to your bigger goal. Try it for the next 21 days. I know you can do it. Then try it again.
Make this year different. Don't make a resolution, pick an action and stick to it for 3 weeks. Before long you will see a difference.
There is one BIG, HUGE problem with making New Year's resolutions, the resolution may be perfect for you. But, you are only focusing on the outcome. How to get to the goal is critical for success and resolutions only focus on the outcome. How many goals, resolutions, commitments to exercise, eat right, quit drinking, stop shopping, whatever, do you make only to see your commitment fade away with the harsh light of day? If you're like me (and like a lot of people I know) willpower is not your problem. Willpower is not even the issue. Sure having a flat stomach is potentially motivating, but more than another piece of cake or glass of wine? No, it is not your willpower. It is the way you and me set ourselves up to fail.
We think it is all or nothing, but it is not. It is a process, baby steps. Have you ever watched a child learn to walk? When they first try to move they hold on to stuff, couches, pant legs, dogs, whatever is close. And they fall down, a lot of falling down. What do parents do when they watch this process? They cheer! YAY - you took a step and you fell down, good for you, try it again. That is the process of learning a new skill. Not unlike learning to eat better, drink less, exercise more. YAY - you did it, you made it through one meal, one day, one hour at the gym - good for you.
That is not what we say to ourselves when we are trying to change a habit. We say stuff like; "I failed, I am always going to be fat, I don't have what it takes". There is a lot of negative feedback. And even more disheartening is we start believing all that self - talk. Want to stop the cycle once and for all?
For the next 21 days focus on one action that you can do to get you to your most important goal. Maybe you want to be healthier, have more energy and lose a few pounds? Your action step could be to eat a healthy breakfast everyday. Or to drink at least 6 glasses of water a day. Or plan your meals in advance. It could be to walk at least part of the way to work, or to walk at lunchtime.
The action step is up to you. Pick one that you want to do. One that is a small stepping stone on your way to your bigger goal. Try it for the next 21 days. I know you can do it. Then try it again.
Make this year different. Don't make a resolution, pick an action and stick to it for 3 weeks. Before long you will see a difference.
